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I'm just an ordinary girl who is used to be called as Gretta. The full name of Gretta is actually Margaretta Carolina. Does Carolina her surname or something like that? Hmmm... How can I explain this? This is kind a complicated story so better not to discuss it here. Hehehe. You may assume Carolina as my surname. :P

Gretta is now going to be a 20 years old not yet mature girl since she is really into animes and mangas specially Sailor Moon. She is also into figure skating so much. Unfortunately she can't improve her skills as good as when she was in her home country, Indonesia. She is also crazy of designs. Well this theme of her blog is designed by Leen (thanks for the cool skin)!!! She is a perfectionist. All the things she does have to be well done, and NOT half done (it's scary if I have to watch some blood on my meal!! (>,<)

She's now hardly studying architecture in the Netherlands. She speaks more Dutch than English nowadays - ever since she attends a Dutch university of appliances (Hogeschool van Amsterdam). She may not speak English fluently as before (or even her writing skill is becoming worse), but she can still understand what people are saying.



Margaretta Carolina Siwalette
Margaretta Carolina Siwalette
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with tears
Saturday, August 23, 2008 9:37 PM
22th august 2008-08-22 9.39pm

My eyes hurt because of crying.
My heart hurts more… more than I’ve ever felt
I’m writing this in my room on MS Word, hearing some music outside my space.
I ain’t hear anything but the typing sounds that i make.
I can’t stop shedding my tears. I am not be able to do such simple thing.
It keeps going out of my eyes.

My heart hurts so bad that I can’t think, I can’t move, and I can’t even breath.
It hurts as an arrow tore my chest.
Couldn’t do anything. Don’t dare to defense myself.
Just can see how the arrow rudely keeped tearing my flesh, tried to get itself closer to my heart.
It’s so close that I couldn’t bear no more.
I couldn’t even put some shield to cover myself.
I don’t dare I don’t dare.

Just wish to be able to be gone.
Run from every single thing that has bound me this past months.
I don’t even get how someone could be a totally mean one.

When I finally got what I’m chasing after,
When I finally could have known how we should work hard
When I finally could have the courage to face everything before me
When I finally could have known how we should work hard
When I finally HAVE the guts…
When I finally could have enrolled…
The mean one man seems doesn’t have some respect
Or he just don’t like to see that I could just have had what I’m desiring?
God… show me your way…
I cant bear this pain.
Just can’t imagine what would have come.