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I'm just an ordinary girl who is used to be called as Gretta. The full name of Gretta is actually Margaretta Carolina. Does Carolina her surname or something like that? Hmmm... How can I explain this? This is kind a complicated story so better not to discuss it here. Hehehe. You may assume Carolina as my surname. :P

Gretta is now going to be a 20 years old not yet mature girl since she is really into animes and mangas specially Sailor Moon. She is also into figure skating so much. Unfortunately she can't improve her skills as good as when she was in her home country, Indonesia. She is also crazy of designs. Well this theme of her blog is designed by Leen (thanks for the cool skin)!!! She is a perfectionist. All the things she does have to be well done, and NOT half done (it's scary if I have to watch some blood on my meal!! (>,<)

She's now hardly studying architecture in the Netherlands. She speaks more Dutch than English nowadays - ever since she attends a Dutch university of appliances (Hogeschool van Amsterdam). She may not speak English fluently as before (or even her writing skill is becoming worse), but she can still understand what people are saying.



Margaretta Carolina Siwalette
Margaretta Carolina Siwalette
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22 august 2008 - morning tragedy
Sunday, August 24, 2008 10:44 AM
Morning had come. I woke up at 5 am, and had my back packed. Ready to go and I change my 35mm roll film with a new one, the first of my ‘special 35mm film’ from lomography.com. YAY!! since the iso was only 100, i just hoped that today wouldnt be a rainy day (fyi, i always hate rainy days). And shit happened. It was a rainy day.

At 6.55am i went downstairs, and rushed telling my uncle and my aunt that i was ready to go.
They seemed to be aghast and asked where i headed to, and was i going to school. And i said honestly that i was going to Maarssen with all of my new friends from architecture faculty. Suddenly they said :"No, you MUSN'T go there!"
I asked : "Why?"
My uncle : "Do you know how far Maarssen is? It is almost Utrecht!"
I replied : "Yeah. I knew that. we're going there together, why cant i go? i aint alone there"
My uncle : "You dont have to join that kind an unnessesary event! You have already got a school and you dont have to go there to find another school! That's for people who want to study there, you know?!"
I replied : "Nope! i go there not to find another school or go with people who want to find a school or study there. I go with the whole frist year students of architecture faculty and the docents are going too." (i couldnt stand anymore. this missunderstanding was putting me on the cliff)
My uncle : "Whatever! Go if you wanna go!" with anger and then went to his office.

I asked my aunt if i could go *and also asked about her opinion*. She just said that she doesnt know. She seemed agree with my uncle. She went upstairs, maybe took a bath and i couldn't do anything but call my parents.

I'd told them a day before that i wanted to go there but i just couldnt tell my uncle because of that 'freaky scary night'. Told them the situation and the time rushed. it was already 7.10 and the train departed on 7.30. My mom told me that she wanted to talk to my aunt. Unfortunately she was taking a bath. I just couldnt think anymore that i went anyway, was running along the street till suddenly i realized, "Mijn pasje!" or my bank pass! I couldnt be able to buy the tickets if i didn't bring my pass along with me.

I ran back home and i saw my aunty talking on the phone. It was probably my mom. I went upstairs, took my bank pass, then went back downstairs. She seemed to try to act like she didnt know anything, and she was just afraid doing anything that could make her husband upset. She suggested my mom to call my uncle and passed the phone to me. My mom asked the mobile number of my uncle and i gave her on the way running to Diemen Zuid Station. It was 7.23 already, and i had to buy the ticket first on a machine that almost had never been used by me. My iphone showed some numbers : 7.29.

Luckily i could still take the 7.30am train. I went on the train then prayed. "God, am i doing sth wrong? Can't i just enjoy my finally-got-new-life at my new school? Can't i just join the outdoor day with all of my friends? CANT I JUST HAVE ONE DAY VACATION BEFORE SCHOOL STARTS? Can't I? Why can't they trust me to take a long trip to Maarssen? I ain't a baby anymore, even I always do sth childish or silly. I AM 18 and GOING ON 19!!! Why should i BE TREATED as a new-born-baby??"

My heart hurt so bad... It hurt so bad that i cried along the way to Amsterdam RAI, a place where i should change train. On that sprinter train i tried to calm myself then decided to read a religious book given by my mom, Pribadi Tangguh. It was the constellation of the sermons of Pdt. Yuyung Nehemia, my priest in Indonesia. It made me stronger at least that i cried no more.